he shaved USA in his pubs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
