I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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