My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize