i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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