I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
