I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
