so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
