You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
