So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
