I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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