Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
