It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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