I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
