It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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