Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize