When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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