Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
