I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
