Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
