dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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