if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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