I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
