go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
