After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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