super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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