Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
