I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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