i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
being pregnant is like rehab
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize