It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
