You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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