i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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