Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize