I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The air was thick with penises
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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