Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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