She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
