so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
