If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
