But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize