At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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