I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
