She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
