I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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