i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
this will be a night to untag.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Of course I have a pirate flag
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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