exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize