Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
how does that bad decision feel?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
