I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
