bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
