we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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