this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
