why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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