I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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