What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
