i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
