ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize