I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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