last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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